I am aware that the
following blog entry has a rather fractured nature but I have not edited that
as I feel it provides a literal example of my thought patterns when combatting
the tiredness that living with ataxia brings. Ataxia does not affect mental
capacity and it is often the case that I want to do more but my body either
can’t or won’t do what it’s told. Some
days it’s only willpower that gets me through.
Use the force!!
If anyone follows my blog (:-D), you might’ve noticed that I
did not publish an entry last week and there is a very simple reason for this =
I didn’t write one!!
I didn’t write one due to a sudden and severe attack of
Inertia.
Inertia is defined as the resistance of any
physical object to any change in its state of motion; this includes changes to
its speed, direction or state of rest. It is the tendency of objects to keep
moving in a straight line at constant velocity. The principle of inertia is one
of the fundamental principles of classical physics that are used to describe
the motion of objects and how they are affected by applied forces. Inertia
comes from the Latin word, iners, meaning idle (shut up), sluggish.
In mathematical terms Inertia is:
Physical object + Change = Resistance
In relation to me:
Myself + Life = Tiredness
Simply put I did not write a blog entry last week as I was so tired I
didn’t want to move for two days!
In fact, having just reread the bizarre rambling nature
that is the beginning of this entry I think I might still be affected! (Oh
no! Are all my blog entries this bad?
Perhaps that’s why I have no google followers!!).
(If my neighbours don’t turn down their music, I might be
forced to do something I later regret!! Seriously every day at 11.30am??!!
-insert copious expletives here-)
Some people (mentioning no names!) might feel that the
obsessive planning and strict routines I employ daily are just because I am in
a rut that my ataxia prevents me from climbing out of.
1. Correct but as mentioned in a previous blog entry, my rut is a nice, happy
place that I like being in and
2. My routines are a necessary health protection technique.
My self-created rules, such as NOT planning more than one
social activity per day, are designed for me to limit my energy expenditure and
therefore reduce my needed recovery time following each period of activity in
order for me to move on to the next and maintain a good quality of life.
(I define social activity as shopping, visiting/spending time with people,
going out and driving etc.).
Last week I broke my own rules and spent four consecutive
days going out, spending time with friends, family, pursuing my own ideas and
necessary duties. I did suffer for this decision, but I'd do it all again and will hopefully do similar rule breaking again in the future!
*A short message for anyone involved in
these activities. I had a great time and
even though I needed a longer recovery period, I wouldn’t change a thing and
would do it again in a heartbeat. At this
stage of my Ataxia everything tires me out but the memories we create and the times
spent with loved ones is needed and always worth it.
In conclusion, my life is tiring and frustrating (and full
of medication!) for me and (probably more often than I’d like) I am bad
tempered because of it.
I am genuinely sorry to any victims of my moods.
Don’t give up on me, I am a good person...although if you do you weren’t worth my
efforts anyway, so jog on.
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