Nobody can tell what the future holds.
That can be tragically problematic, especially when life's twists have been cruel and full of despair.
But, and I say this with total experience, just when you least expect it life changes. Nothing stays the same. Ever.
What's that saying? Oh yes... 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'.
Well let me just say that my many lemons are big, supremely sour and full of pith (that's right, lots and lots of pith, I tell you!). Therefore attempting to turn them into a tasty and refreshing beverage is a mammoth task.
Nearly impossible.
Nearly.
Just when you think you are broken beyond repair, physically and mentally, it is possible to discover that you still have a lot more left to do than you thought.
I am proof.
I mean physically I am still completely defined as attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis (thanks to The Big Bang Theory for that definition. If you know, you know.), but mentally broken? Surprisingly not so much. Not as much as I thought anyway. I am a warrior. A quiet one, but a strong one nonetheless.
It has been more than 570 days since my last blog post and a lot has happened, mostly horrible and out of my control which maybe I will write about in time. Time can be a luxury when you have a shorter than usual expiry date. It is really important to use your time wisely and not waste it. Make it worthwhile.
So what I have I been doing to ensure I do not waste my time? Perhaps what I do best, write.
I have not changed. I am still me but I have allowed myself to become more myself than ever. My slight regret is that I didn't to allow this to happen sooner but that's okay.
My care is still not perfect but it is livable, I still don't get to choose when I want to get up, go to bed, go to the toilet or have a shower and must stick to somebody else's schedule never my own which is not ideal but at least it is there.
The decline of my condition is still unstoppable which doesn't sound like a positive either but thankfully my life has not stopped and I am alive (no thank you to the people that exclaim to my face 'wow, you are still alive'! It does wonders for my confidence (sarcastic tone), you know who you are).
I have spent the last decade working with one of the most extraordinary ladies that I have ever met, somebody who accepted me for myself as soon as I met her. Dr Tuppy Owens.
Above: Dr Tuppy Owens and me.
London, 2019
I am privileged to call her my friend, colleague, confidante, advisor and biggest cheerleader.
When Tuppy asked me to help her complete and publish her autobiography, there was no other answer than 'yes'.
Tuppy has vascular dementia. Her autobiography was mostly written before this diagnosis but was left disorganised and lacking important details. It didn't have a chronological story and was difficult to read. However, the stories that she has noted are amazing and the life that she led has been nothing short of an extraordinary adventure.
Helping her achieve publication has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Even during the times when this has been most difficult such as the progression of her dementia, potential legal action from her ex partners and continuing to battle everything that comes with my own progressive severe disability.
Writing about her unique and fabulous experiences and speaking to the people who love her and hearing their stories has been the most humbling and joyous experience.
I am happy to say that on the 16th of September 2024, the autobiography of Dr Tuppy Owens was published.
On the 10th of November 2024, surrounded by friends, family and so much love, Tuppy had a party to celebrate this and her 80th birthday at the Heaven nightclub in London.
A true celebration of acceptance regardless of disability, sexuality or gender.
Tuppy's life is one that I am truly honoured to be part of. My healing and gorgeous, pink lemonade I managed to make because of her.
If you would like to read all about it (it also makes a lovely gift!), here is the link:
The Sex Lady on the Hill: The Extraordinary Legacy of Dr Tuppy Owens https://amzn.eu/d/hHzTcp8
It is available in hardback, paperback and kindle ebook.
Efforts have been made to ensure that this text is accessible as possible.
The kindle is screen reader enabled.
The printed versions use easy to read fonts with wide spacing.
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